Ways To Combat Your Summer Losses
Updated: Jun 24, 2020
If I'm being honest this whole year so far has been a blur. The only memories I have of 2020 is just vibing, getting ready for a brand new season, and then BOOM. Corona time. At first, it was a spectacle rumor, then an uncomfortable threat, and all of a sudden it became a new life-altering reality for everyone. We have lost jobs, homes, family, and some huge life milestones. Some of these losses are undoubtedly more important than others, however, during this time it's our responsibility to remember that everyone grieves differently, and what might be no big deal to you can be astronomical to another human. That's why it's important to stay compassionate.
Today I want to discuss the virus on a smaller scale. It’s pivotal that we stay updated with reliable news sources on crucial information such as vaccine updates, breaking news, and of course, the death toll. However, after you've done your research for the day, and are as educated as you can be at the moment, remember to take a break and grieve the losses in your own life. No matter how big or small, take a moment to say goodbye, and let them go. You're already stuck inside all the time, not getting to see friends, or family, or go about your life, so don't make it harder on yourself by holding on to the things that you can't control.
Disclaimer: If you'd like to skip my personal corona story and go straight to ideas on how to ease some of your own losses, go ahead and scroll down to the divider. That's where I begin:)
I had plans to go to Paris. September 8th I was going to ride to J.F.K say "Au revoir" to my beloved city and embark on my first trip to one of the fashion capitals of the world. I had been learning french, google mapping out my trip down to the very second, and had even begun planning out each outfit 8 months in advance.
When I had first heard of the virus I was at work. Both my bosses were about to leave for fashion week in Paris, and were concerned about travel restrictions since one of them was Italian. My co-workers and I thought the idea was crazy. Surly airport security wasn't this scared over some germs. After all, humans carry around bacteria every day and that’s never stopped the world, right? This, of course, was before we had any information on the virus, and no clue the havoc it would soon wreak on our world.
Sure enough, a few weeks later I was told we would be shutting down for the foreseeable future. "Okay," I thought. "I have enough money for rent this month and next. I’ll jump on unemployment, and It’ll all work out." Something you should know about me is I am entirely financially independent and have been from a young age. When I moved to New York I gave myself one week to settle into school and I immediately found a job the following week. So taking financial hits like this is never easy, especially when you have to cushion the fall with all the money you had been saving for the trip of a lifetime. The loss of my job depleted my Paris funds and left me with what seemed like nothing to look forward to.
I also shared an apartment at the time with a roommate so when quarantining I just had my bedroom as my own space. I could only withstand being in one room for a month and a half before I decided to pack up and stay at home with my parents until this was all over. At least there I could go on a walk. So here I am. Stuck in my hometown, dreaming of NYC in the Summertime with the flowers pouring into the streets, and the food fairs filling up blocks with every type of cuisine from all over the world.
I mourned. I cried for hours because I lost Paris. I didn't eat, because I was so homesick, and I couldn't sleep. Because what's the point of dreaming if you can't dream of New York. It only recently dawned on me that yes, these things are gone. I will not be in Paris THIS September, and I won't see the flowers THIS Summer, but I will next. My friends, this is what we call privilege. I lost nothing permanently. Money can be made back, trips replanned and everything else just pushed off until later. Not everyone gets to say that.
So it's at this point in our new quarantine life that we need to take notice of the privilege we have and firstly are there for the people who lost worlds more. Now when it comes to your own losses however big or small they may be, I might have some ideas that can cheer you up.
If you missed your graduation.
Whether it was a college, high school, or graduate school graduation, it hurts that you won’t get to walk across that stage. Those of us who have already gotten the chance to graduate know it's a long drawn ceremony and you're honestly just looking forward to the parties before and after. However, if you haven't ever had one, you wouldn't know that, and that's okay. Because you'll have one in a few years. You can still have the party with your close family in your backyard, and as long as your friend group has been quarantining you can have a little party all together at home (because let's be honest, your friends are the only ones you wanna party with anyways.)
Try having a vent party. Complete with your favorite snacks, drinks ;) ;) movies and just complain and let it all out. Let yourself have fun but take time to talk about school, all the best and worst moments, what you missed, and how pissed you are about the whole thing. Venting to your mom might not cut it this time, so do it with your best friends. After all, no one understands the situation like they do.
Plan a trip for when it's all over. Either together or separately with your family. But do research on a place you want to visit, think of what outfits you could wear, and things to do, and create a loose savings plan. Shifting your focus to something you can control can be extremely beneficial in this situation.
If you missed a concert
The good news about this one is that mostly all live entertainment companies are doing automatic refunds or allowing you to keep your ticket credits until the concert is back up again. So this allows for some extra cash in your pocket towards rent or treating yourself to DoorDash because you deserve it. Acknowledge that artists need breaks too. This quarantine has given them an opportunity to let their voices heal, build up their stamina, and come back bigger and better for the next year's concert schedule. Honestly, when you do finally get to see them, their show will probably be 100x more impressive. So while they spend their time in quarantine perfecting your show experience, you should be too. Go ahead and give the new album enough listens so that you can sing scream to your heart's content to every single song, and are as prepared as possible to make it the best concert of your life.
If you lost your job
Firstly, take care of your finances. If you haven't already signed up for unemployment, get to it. Trust me, I know it takes hours, and you keep getting kicked off the site, put on hold, and sometimes just declined, but keep going. Re-apply two weeks later if you aren't accepted no matter how many no’s you get. Until July 31st the U.S. government will be giving out $600 a week, in addition to your previous weekly earnings, so try everything to take advantage of that.
Once all that is in order, the equally painful part is figuring out what to do with all your time. If you're like me, you have to be active 24/7 or you feel you have wasted your day. First, you need to try and get rid of that negative mindset, and then you need to make yourself a routine. Set an alarm every other day. I say every other, because if you need sleep there's no point in depriving your body when you don't have to. So every other day try to wake yourself up around nine or ten.
Make yourself some breakfast and wash your face. Put on some makeup no matter what that means to you and give yourself two tasks to complete for the day. Whether it's read a chapter of a new book, or update your resume, do two productive things and THEN you can reward yourself with five hours of TikTok. Having an idea of a routine or even just a goal can be so beneficial to you mentally, and gives you a sense of purpose amidst all these mundane months.
If your just missing summer overall
The parties, the warmth, the lunch dates, the beach I miss every second of it too. But Summer will come again. I truly believe that if this pandemic had happened in the winter so many lives would have been saved. I mean, no one would have wanted to hang out outside anyways. But it didn't. So to combat the Summer blues get outside and appreciate the warmth from your own space. Get a tan, and let your hair and skin breathe.
If you don't have a yard, try to get to the roof or deck of your building. If you're in NYC and the roof is a stretch, you can go to Central Park. Wear a mask, be safe, maintain social distancing, take all necessary safety precautions to get there, and then enjoy it. If you live in Manhattan, you know that the second you walk even 20 feet into the park, the city just seems to melt away. I don't recommend going often, and not at all if you don't plan on being considerate and safe, but if you've been stuck in that tiny apartment for three going on four months, take a little break, and enjoy the season. Here's a link to the park's webpage where you can keep up with their rules. https://www.centralparknyc.org/coronavirus
If you missed your 21st
If you had your birthday and had to nix all the fun traditions of turning legal, ditching your fake, and bar hopping till you can't anymore I have some good news. You just got an extra few months to plan the most bomb-ass party of your life when quarantine lifts.
If throwing parties isn't your thing, spend this time planning a fun bar crawl between you and your closest friends. Save up a little since you have nothing to spend on now, and plan a cool boozy brunch, or dinner when everything is normal. Take some shots from home on the day of, and spend the time with your family if you can, or zoom some friends and have an online bash.
In conclusion, most of our losses are returnable, and if you know someone who’s isn't, be there for them first. 2020 sucks. There's no denying it. But wallowing in our misery and looming on what might have been is only going to make it worse. Try to keep in mind that these months are such a small part of your life. The day's go on, and soon it will be a few months, and then a year, and then just a distant memory that we graze over when remembering our past. Don't let this setback be the only thing you remember from the youngest years of your life. Before I go, here are some general rules to follow in quarantine to stay healthy mentally, and encourage a comfortable environment for your friends and family.
Don't online shop EVERY day
Say out loud that you let your plans go, and give yourself a moment to say goodbye
Be there for the people who lost more
Treat yourself if your bank account allows it
Follow all health regulations for your area, and try to stay inside as much as possible
Always ask for help if you need it
If you're looking for some more ways to spice up our new normal, check out my last article on how to feel fancy AF during quarantine, and as always, if you found this article helpful, give it a share, and hit that cute little heart button.
Forever in your corner,